Samsara in Detroit

     As I reflect on my childhood, football career and subsequent 12 years searching for my purpose, the most valuable lesson learned is that there will be change, the journey never ends and the work is never done. The root of anxiety is lack of preparation and the inability to adapt.That being said, I'm trying to change.
    'Change' is often heard these days, but where is it? We can't wait for things to miraculously change themselves. We need to do the work. Understand that we create our own existence. And always remember it's not where you're from, it's where you're at. 
    Preparing children for life's challenges needs to be the foundation of their future. Giving them the tools to cope with the journey that lies ahead. Showing them how to do it. There's no better place to start than in the city that needs most - Detroit. No stranger to change, The Motor City is perfect example of how we must press on. Embrace the task, dig in and make a stand. The D is like an uncut diamond. Brush away the outer layer, in lies the gem. 
   The following text shows us that if you plan on it, change can and will  be your greatest ally. And guess what?.........It's never too late.




       'Samasara' by Thanissaro Bhikkhu

Samsara literally means "wandering-on." Many people think of it as the Buddhist name for the place where we currently live — the place we leave when we go to nibbana. But in the early Buddhist texts, it's the answer, not to the question, "Where are we?" but to the question, "What are we doing?" Instead of a place, it's a process: the tendency to keep creating worlds and then moving into them. As one world falls apart, you create another one and go there. At the same time, you bump into other people who are creating their own worlds, too.

The play and creativity in the process can sometimes be enjoyable. In fact, it would be perfectly innocuous if it didn't entail so much suffering. The worlds we create keep caving in and killing us. Moving into a new world requires effort: not only the pains and risks of taking birth, but also the hard knocks — mental and physical — that come from going through childhood into adulthood, over and over again. The Buddha once asked his monks, "Which do you think is greater: the water in the oceans or the tears you've shed while wandering on?" His answer: the tears. Think of that the next time you gaze at the ocean or play in its waves.

In addition to creating suffering for ourselves, the worlds we create feed off the worlds of others, just as theirs feed off ours. In some cases the feeding may be mutually enjoyable and beneficial, but even then the arrangement has to come to an end. More typically, it causes harm to at least one side of the relationship, often to both. When you think of all the suffering that goes into keeping just one person clothed, fed, sheltered, and healthy — the suffering both for those who have to pay for these requisites, as well as those who have to labor or die in their production — you see how exploitative even the most rudimentary process of world-building can be.

This is why the Buddha tried to find the way to stop samsara-ing. Once he had found it, he encouraged others to follow it, too. Because samsara-ing is something that each of us does, each of us has to stop it him or her self alone. If samsara were a place, it might seem selfish for one person to look for an escape, leaving others behind. But when you realize that it's a process, there's nothing selfish about stopping it at all. It's like giving up an addiction or an abusive habit. When you learn the skills needed to stop creating your own worlds of suffering, you can share those skills with others so that they can stop creating theirs. At the same time, you'll never have to feed off the worlds of others, so to that extent you're lightening their load as well.

It's true that the Buddha likened the practice for stopping samsara to the act of going from one place to another: from this side of a river to the further shore. But the passages where he makes this comparison often end with a paradox: the further shore has no "here," no "there," no "in between." From that perspective, it's obvious that samsara's parameters of space and time were not the pre-existing context in which we wandered. They were the result of our wandering.

For someone addicted to world-building, the lack of familiar parameters sounds unsettling. But if you're tired of creating incessant, unnecessary suffering, you might want to give it a try. After all, you could always resume building if the lack of "here" or "there" turned out to be dull. But of those who have learned how to break the habit, no one has ever felt tempted to samsara again.


We'd all love to live with the naiveté' of a puppy; thinking life is going to go off without a hitch. Fact is life is tough. And the sooner our youth are given the tools to cope, the better.GM

Suicide Is Not An Option

Love is the center.

Acceptance the goal.

Destruction abundant.

Doing 'time in the hole'.

Our fear of the truth.

Of never being enough.

How funny when we get there.

We fuck it all up.

Why do we do it?

Spin out of control.

What is our purpose?

Will we ever be whole?

Our burning question.

Is it worth it...... this fight?

Just as legend has it.

We must fight for that right.

You've gotta make it.

It's all in your mind.

You've got a message to carry.

And delivered on time..............

.GHM

Utterly

.This poem was recently posted by Herman Le Roux on the Facebook group page , Bipolar(s) Supporting Bipolars.

Somes it up.......Thank you, Herman

Utterly

   by Herman Le Roux


Utterly lonely, utterly sad
Feelings of desperation, utterly bad
Utterly brilliant, utterly bored
Utterly cut by this two edged sword.
Utterly loving and utterly glad,
Utterly passionate about the thoughts of mad

Would I change this utter world of me
For one where every moment can just be?

For one of mundane and always the same,
Without regret and without blame?

Would I take a world of only light?
Where there is not this life and love fight?

Or would I choose one of darkness and fear,
A one where thought are stuck in one gear?

Would I change all of this for one plain and true?
Where sun is just sun and blue is just blue?

I thought about that, of a life free of pain,
In exchange for one where there is no passion to gain.

And may answer is this, yes
I would for a day,
Go to that normal, life that people say
Is part of billions and billions of men,
But I know that I would return to my own when,
My passion for love and life return
With its feelings of hate and love that can burn

A mark in this world that will evermore be,
Because you see that is this,
This life called me.


.

About a Weak Back........

       I've been off the radar for a couple weeks. In my former years......as a NFL punter.......the many years of throwing my leg up over my head has led to a plethora of injuries(hip, back, legs,neck) that have required(need) surgery. Like clockwork, 2-3 times a year, the scar tissue and bone fragments around the L4 in my lower back shift into a position where my torso locks up due to sciatic nerve pressure. I'm guessing the 36 hr car ride to AZ didn't help the issue.


    The loss of physical activity (golf, gym workouts, cardio) usually leads me to a funk......which it did. This simply reminds me that I(we) must stay active. Keep moving. Our descendants were hunter gatherers. Case in point, when we stop moving, our brains will have too much time. Too much time to think....into the past and into the future. 


     Lack of activity and/or reading will lead to atrophy in both our bodies and our minds. So keep moving people. Stay in the moment.  I was reminded that whether it be a physical and/or mental ailment, we must stay focused, stay strong and stay active. And remember take an aggressive approach to wellness. GM

      

     

     

      

    

Zen Golf, Punting and Life - Random Thoughts

                       

              “Letting Go in Order to Gain Control”

Repetition will instill muscle (brain) memory in order to focus on 1-3 swing thoughts while competing on the golf course and in a stadium filled with 78,000 fans..  I’ve always been in search of the “perfect move” (swing) in punting, golf and ultimately - life .  Even though ‘it’ took 45 years to manifest, ‘letting go‘ has given me the gift of ‘control’ on the course…. the practice tee/green………. and life.

There is a very fine line between success and failure when we finally ‘let go with a purpose'. Especially in the game of golf->just as in the game of life (punting).

Being able to “trust the process”, clear your mind and allow your swing(life) unfold naturally is definitely something to strive for.  However, the next step is to “put it all together” and consistantly execute.  Working on ingraining swing movements into my subconscious mind has put me in a position to “take my relationship” (mind, body, spirit) to the next level.

We all need to free our minds from the limitations that accompany a “results driven mindset”. Thoughts..whispers of  “I’ve never shot 65”, “I hope I don’t pull this putt”, “Wouldn’t it be stupid to snap hook this drive?”....... All the way to “How will this win change my life?” on the PGA Tour.  Tiger has proven time and again that he has been blessed/taught/learned to focus at a level never known in the history of golf. This is life. The art of ‘ Focus’………..think 'The Eye of the Tiger'.  

I’ve been blessed to experience ‘it’(the zone) in small  but poignant doses. Though I had much ‘success’(statistically) with my punting, my new goal is to implement this freedom into my golf game. I can vividly remember throwing the  football (back to my center/coach) while in my crouch position when I used to  hold for FG’s in the NFL………my hips were preset(turn) and awkward(correct) position forced me to turn my shoulders and throw the ball with body……….it was magical. My never ending quest…my unquiet mind…..the constant grind.  Hilarious, but so frustrating. I knew it was ‘in there”, but I squeezed when I should have “Let Go”….physically, spiritually and mentally. This ‘squeezing of life' served to hold me back in all of my endeavors whether it be on or off the field.

Then came 2003, when I found it!(whole other story) Too little, too late for my NFL punting career, but I share it and coach it. (Google ‘Donnie Jones – punter St Louis Rams”) and you’ll see what I mean. We have to be prepared for this 'shift’…..When we finally realize “we are ok” (on the right track), we (the human mind) can do anything…for real!!”  Quantum Thinking prevents us from letting fear (guilt/failure) creep in and plant its evil seed. Know this, people! -  We can compete at ‘levels unknown’.  We have to constantly remind ourselves that‘doubt’  is the number ONE(1) hurdle that separates the boys from the men.  We must strive to free our minds of negative thoughts, destructive loops of “scenarios”, “what if’s”, and “what will the friends family fans say (think)”…………Yes, we need to let go(mental chatter0 and allow life to happen; but always remember we can direct it(guide it) when we relax and respect the process.(fyi - next level of consciousness, folks).

After proper mental and physical preparation, we must(can) always “trust the process” (i.e. I hit a 65 yd punt in 1998 while locked in the “chains of a panic attack”). I simply let my instincts takes over. All the work, repetition and drills paid off....And I didn't even know I had a choice. ...What a 'Seinfeld moment'....When all I had to do my whole career was understand (and believe) we are in control of all of our actions….catch to kick….address to finish…sunrise to sunset. And that’s it, folks ……….

So the moral to the story is: 1) Focus   2) Execute (allow)  and  3) Enjoy (let it happen) the ride!  .....The Mystery............... GM





.

Returning to the Scene of the Crime

 Due to my current alliances with   Everyminute.org (Michael Corbin), North Venture Partners (Alex Bernstein) and BringChange2Mind.org (Dr Cinda Johnson) and Alicia Sparks, my 'last minute' trip to  Miami on the eve of the 2010 Super Bowl  proved to be not only successful, but even more - enlightening. My most quality time was spent with my old friends Paul Pomfret (PDP Capital), Wendy Herr and Andy Bernstein (Mass Hysterics.com). These people 'get it' and are excited to work with everyminute.org. The sky is the limit and my team is evolving ..... very nicely. ; )

      As you all know, my 'quantum shift' has taken place much to the surprise of many of my former NFL co-workers and members of the media. After reviewing my credentials and press release for everyminute.org, the responses I received from the media, for the most part, were mixed. Woven in among the 'congratulations on your efforts', 'you look like a rock star' and 'you're an inspiration'; were the looks, vibes and whisperings of  'we really don't want to address, suicide depression and the effects concussions on athletes'.

    My old friends from Baltimore were great. 'Nasty Nester', Scott Garceau and Wally Williams embraced my cause(s). But 'between us girls'....... The topics of bipolar disorder, suicide and depression were only delicately sprinkled into questions of  'let's talk about the good old daze' and 'who's going to win the big game'. I had no problem 'switching channels' and 'playing the game'. The media is there to entertain. This is their job...and I respect this. But after all was said and done, talking about depression and suicide probably wasn't a number one topic in the eyes of each program director.

   Returning to the scene of the crime (the NFL), was a grave reminder of how football is big business. I felt badly for all the 'kids' with their 'bling', overinflated egos and (de)illusion of being on top of the world. I understand the feeling. Been there. Done that. It only enhanced how important my quest to educate and prevent depression will be. Stay strong and stay tuned. GM

 

Golf, Dogs, Punts and Parents

    
 Its amazing how looking at one’s golf swing (and  dogs/babies for that matter) can give many clues on the psychological make-up of a human being; Control, patience, attention span, goals, data storage/retention.


      The golf swing, as with the punting stroke and as in life, is a process that takes focus/ memory to successfully execute.  Once the basics are learned, we need to figure out (and practice) remembering “how” to do it, but at the same time “how not” to (think). 


      Own the moment, not the scene.  Or better yet, own the process (swing, motion), not the game (scene).  By saying the “right” thing, wearing the best clothes, using the most technically advanced equipment won’t make you a good golfer, punter or parent.


Process vs. Results 


      In order to attain a desired results, it is the process that needs to be mastered; mentally and physically.  In this results driven society, the most common error is to think “we got it” and not take the time to do the work. Take the time to 'watch our minds' and execute our pre-shot/punt/life routine; ultimately forgetting to “read the directions”.


      There’s nothing wrong with having the desire to succeed, however, once you “step into the batter’s box” up “onto the tee box” or 'back to punt", we must go thru a simple pre-shot/swing routine and then,  ZEN.


      We have to have the ability to ignore negative mental chatter and execute the entire routine/process/swing. Having 'the gift of being'..... The ability to approach life with a 'Ce La Vie' approach, will allow us to “Let it Happen”, be absolutely  Present, free our mind with the rare ability to totally Focus, Relax, and Execute.


When we approach life with a 'Half Full' attitude. We will be blessed .


The Do's ...........“Let go” --> Set and Pull, Seeing Great Results, Quantum Positive, “put a good move on it” 


vs.


The fatal 'Half Empty'  approach........


The Don'ts  --> Over thinking, Focusing on negative thoughts, Tightening up, Forcing it, Making it Happen/The Results, Squeezing it, White Knuckling it, Panicking.


      One thing I’ve noticed about people(the majority) is that most want to keep things “in a box”, simple, generally vague(and boring) --> Regular and Normal.  No one really wants to take the time to slow down and “smell the roses” or “read the directions” in order to execute “the process”........... Focusing on results, 'What if’s' and 'Oh no's' is death.


      When we(they) “get stuck” and forget to go thru the process, the brain will malfunction and lock onto the negative thought pattern and/or focus only on “one part/aspect” of the swing(life) . The only is destiny will be  disaster....... leading an incomplete and abbreviated swing-> forcing.  An incomplete swing by attempting to make the results miraculously happen, when we must focus on what we can control..... Ourselves.....Our process.......... Our “catch to kick” .


     Moral to Story -  Focus on what you actually CAN control.  The swing (Process) versus the shot (Results) .




Conditions


      As in conditional love, we can’t approach a motion by focusing on “what we need/want” in order for to get the desired results.  And focusing/complaining about these said conditions(obstacles)  will ruin the movement(process). When we fix(work on) ourselves, all those around us will gladly follow suit. 


“We Are What We Teach” 


      Which brings me to the dogs and children. The inherent personalities are a sometimes a grave reminder of who we are and how we approach life. 


 “Now Noel, you don’t want to discipline away her personality” was once said by a doting grandfather to his daughter in reference to the disciplining of of her wily 4 yr old.


“Lord, give me the strength,  to accept things I cannot change, to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”



The Art of Listening (Listen to Learn) 


      For us to learn(and teach), we have to learn to listen.  We can’t expect someone to “fix us” and/or teach/learn with a predetermined “way we want”.  We have to be patient and allow the the results to manifest. So  PAY ATTENTION .......... and LISTEN.


 Being prepared to learn is an art. And being patient enough to teach is a miracle.


The Art of Learning 


      Most people only want to hear what suits their needs. And in some cases, project their insecurities upon us in the process. 


Good News - Once these mind viruses are purged, it is then we will learn.  It is then we can take life to the next level........ and Free our Minds!


 Bad News - Most are lost souls destined for mediocrity.  Trapped in a life they “thought” they wanted ... living “results driven” and eventually,  the stress of not being “in control”,  will kill them. As the  Montgomery Mirror Approach states.... if you kid yourself, ignore what you see in the mirror and think you’re in control, especially when you’re a pleaser, a “yes man”, “a follower” and NOT a thought leader........ the future is bleak  At the end of the day, you'll have no control......and  no friends. Only subordinates and feaux aquaintances.  I speak from experience......If you’re dumb enough to think people don’t notice your lack of control.... your  EGO .......   and you foolishly confuse your paycheck with wisdom, you will....  mark my words... pay HALF!  It's like shooting fish in a barrel.


Moral? - Pay Attention! 


    It's a fact ........ that a head strong student/friend/family member will sometimes need to be totally exhausted in order to finally let go. Try not give up on them  For the tired body (and mind) will eventually give up “trying to DO the motion(life)” and finally ALLOW the motion(life) to unfold. I've been blessed to have the ability to “unlearn” my “control moves” in life and now strive to partake with a free mind, body and spirit. ................   And that, my friends,  will continue to be the all too elusive trick.


How's that for a Wednesday morning rant?!


Piece - GM



..

HELLoooo....Is There Anybody Out There?

     As you can imagine, throughout my many years of playing college and professional sports, I've heard some classic quotes from some classic coaches. And this one stands out. George Perles, my head coach(and teammate of my father) at Michigan State said, "You either hang together ... Or you hang separate".


    And it's that simple.


    Those of us that have been on 'the dark side' need to recognize some things if we're going to 'make it'. There are many levels of depression, and we all know them well. My recently named position of National Spokesperson for everyminute.org  is living testimony that I'm on the right track.


    That being said, as George Perles said, all those that want to be in our lives need to make a choice. They need to figure out who's side they're on and where they want to go....and with whom. Because we're going to succeed(recover) with them or without them.


      This leads me to the question of  "Are we ever going to get through"? 


      'Smart money' says  "No". 


     Even though we really appreciate their concern, all those friends and family that are 'stuck in the past' need be kicked to the curb(gently). Once their job of 'saving us' is taken out of their hands ..... and they can no longer inhale the fumes of our victory(recovery).....it is then we find out who our true friends are.


        As Jack Kennedy said, "Victory has a thousand fathers, but defeat is an orphan." The funny thing - this quote inadvertently applies to all of us.


       I had my latest epiphany in W Palm Beach while visiting with an old 'friend'.


     We really have to 'let go'.....let go of the 'chains of guilt'.....and stop swimming in the 'river of deceit'.


     We all know the definition of insanity. And that question is usually directed at us when 'those that care' are hammering us with stories of our past trials and tribulations. The real issue of insanity is this - 'Why do we continue to believe that 'these people'(that have never understood us) are going to miraculously going to catch our drift?    News flash - It ain't happening.


    Here are a few open questions for you to chew on.........


    How do we get our friends and family to open(clear) their minds?


   When the mind viruses of 'our handlers' are rampant, how do we know when to move on....cut bait?


   How do we avoid activating their EGO when the conversation turns to them?


   In order for them to grow with us, do we need to give them scientific facts that explain how their brain (ego) functions?


    How many parents/teachers/coaches that learn  they were originally “wrong or mislead” (while parenting/teaching/coaching)  actually make 'the shift'(to enlightenment)?


    Is there a 'soft approach' for us to use when it's their turn to list their old habits and ways of teaching that could be improved upon? .... The very root of our pain.


    Are we the only ones that need/want to grow(mind body spirit)?


       In this day of PhD's, MD's, Fox News and "say’s who's?", it is very difficult(and frustrating) for us to get through to those that need written proof we are on the right track. It's sad that he very people that 'think they are helping' just so happen to be using an extremely rigidly programmed belief system based upon what they’ve “heard” and what they “thought” was right/correct/effective. What if they are(were) wrong?......... And if so, do they really care?


  I've learned that this is a very slippery slope. And there will come a time when we need to make a decision. And that decision will be ours, not theirs.


 On that note, I'm going to 'therapy'. GM
  
  




  

The Matrix - Finding Our Purpose Through Quantum Thinking

    Even though we all might not be 'action hero' and/or Keanu Reeves fans, the 'quantum thought' based movie, The Matrix,  has numerous messages for all of us to chew on. And that being said, I strongly suggest you all rent it and watch it with pen and paper handy. Be prepared to pause, rewind and write down any dialog that makes you scratch your head. Sit back and enjoy; for there is another dimension of life that is sitting right in front of you. GM

For more interpretations  and  symbolism in the  The Matrix, please visit http://onwardoverland.com/matrix/philosophy.html  and  http://www.thematrix101.com/matrix/symbolism.php

Other must-see movies regarding quantum thinking  and finding 'our purpose'  : What The Bleep Do We Know?! (www.whatthebleep.com) and  The Shift (www.theshiftmovie.com)