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True Power

" True power does not need arrogance, a long beard and a barking voice. True power is attained with silk ribbons, charm and intelligence"

- Oriana Fallaci in "Il Divo"


Chaos by Design

       In light of the recent school shooting, I truly believe that society needs to wake up and take a deeper look beyond the most obvious issues of gun control and mental illness. The numbers of disgruntled youth and violence are at an all time high. While there have been mixed reviews on the latest ‘blog gone viral’ by the ‘Anarchist Soccer Mom’ ( ) comparing her 13 yr old boy to a mass murderer, I think there is a much more sinister issue at hand.

      Raising a child that is under mental distress must be a tremendous strain on one’s mind, body and spirit. Speaking from experience, when left unchecked, mental dis-ease can spin out of control and cause a lot of chaos within the family unit. Parents are being urged to take a look at themselves, get educated and develop effective coping ‘tools’ that encourage communication, active listening and mutual cooperation. I’m currently living in Colorado collaborating with Rael Reddick, founder/facilitator of The E.R.I.C Program ( ), to further develop her method of reintroducing/educating families dealing with mental health issues. I personally feel this approach will promote growth for both the caretakers as well as those diagnosed.  At the same time, once a line of communication is established, those that are diagnosed must be held accountable to hold up their end of the bargain. By agreeing to set boundaries, communicate with respect and engage in productive activities, the recovery process can begin.  Easier said than done.

     Growing up in the 60’s/70’s in New Jersey, most kids would admit adolescence was difficult. Peer pressure, making/maintaining friendships and finding our place in this world can be a daunting task. Given there wasn’t a manual, parents did the best they could. Even though I grew up in an upper middle class environment, I personally struggled in my formative years. I was teased.  I put a lot a pressure on myself to be the best at everything. I had anger issues due to my difficulties trying to ‘fit in’. I would often have my tantrums, be sent to my room and/or simply have to “wait until your father gets home”. LOL. But never in a million years would any of us think about picking up a firearm and letting loose on our classmates.

    The drastic increase in ‘problem children’ in today’s society is not only disturbing, but fishy. ‘Perfect parenting’ aside, today’s youth has been exposed to many factors that are not readily talked about in mainstream media. We can all rant and rave about ‘Mommy should’ve done this or Daddy shouldn’t have done that’. But what if there’s more to this story? What if the increase in mental illness, violence, drug abuse and suicide has less to do with parenting and more to do with control?  

    Let’s take a look at the taboo subjects such as GMO’s (genetically modified organisms), toxic amounts of Fluoride in the drinking water, HAARP (High-frequency Active Auroral Research Program), Chemtrails and the recently released (and bloated) DSM-5(Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Mental Disorders) that promotes the use of dangerous drugs (SSRI’s) that are being given out like candy to any and all takers.

    This seems to be a case of cause and effect. All we see on television and digital media is the end result. The ‘effect’ if you will. We hear about mass shootings, mental illness and cancer, but never about the possible causes. …The covert (and overt for that matter) programs that are being pawned off as breakthroughs in science. Could all this chaos be by design?

   I’d like to give a brief overview of these topics and include a link for your further review.

   Genetically modified foods (GMO’s) have been proven to cause infertility, immune system dysfunction, organ damage and death in lab animals. Has any mainstream media outlet ever even considered what these Frankenfoods are doing to the mental/physical health of society?

    Fluoride in our drinking water has been rationalized to promote dental health for years, when in reality it has been linked to blocked thyroid function, kidney failure, mental illness and a bevy of other illnesses.

    HAARP’s Extremely Low Frequency (ELF) radiation waves have not only been linked to weather manipulation, but known to be used for psychological warfare causing stress, depression, anxiety, seizures ……and ultimately effect body function, thoughts and emotions.

    If anyone has looked up into the sky lately, Chemtrails are appearing more and more frequently. What’s the big secret? Under the guise of geo-engineering to prevent global warming, these trails have been said to contain aluminum and barium compounds as well as red blood cells, bacteria and viruses. Symptoms that people have been reporting are memory loss, headaches, dizziness, difficulty thinking, depression, irritability … the list goes on.

    And then there’s the new DSM-5. It’s obvious that the goal is to assign a ‘diagnosis’ to every man, woman and child on this planet in order for them to be treated with extremely dangerous mind altering drugs(SSRI’s) with multiple side effects(including murder).  In my opinion, most of these new ‘disorders’ are being created in order to control society, make us sick and create more clients for Big Pharma. Not knowing the long term effects of these drugs is not only frightening but criminal.

    I am truly saddened by the recent tragedy at the Sandy Hook Elementary School. I believe that mental health is a huge issue that needs tremendously more funding for research. I believe we need more communication based programs like the E.R.I.C Program. I believe guns should not be available to children. I believe today’s youth is exposed to too much violence through Hollywood, video games and sensationalism by our ‘if it bleeds, it leads’ media outlets. But I challenge you all to look beyond the headlines; which are ripe with disinformation and the ‘effects’ of our broken society. Educate yourself and protect your children from toxic foods/medications. It’s time to wake up and look at the probable causes of social unrest, mental illness and violence that are conveniently being covered up. Maybe the drugs being prescribed and the convenient foods being served have something to do with all this madness.

I’m wide awake …. Are you?



Spiritual Growth and Recovery are Painful

I've always had the desire to contribute to the growth of others. Time, energy and lots of money were thrown to the wayside in order to make other people happy. In retrospect, this was my way of not dealing with my own issues … taking on the role of ‘the helper’.

It’s been almost 10 months since I entered a treatment facility to deal with the aftermath of a manic episode that lasted the good part of the last 3 years. I now know that I wasn't in as good space, even though at the time I thought I was being ‘productive’.

By making a conscious decision to discontinue coping with drugs and alcohol, I've begun to see life in a new light. And this light continues to illuminate many issues I've been depressing for years.

The fog has lifted. And I've only begun to deal with the many emotional issues that date back to my early childhood. But I have to accept them, accelerate through them and conquer them. Period.

Q – What’s the best thing about recovery?

A -We get our emotions back.

Q –What’s the worst thing about recovery?

A -Yup, we get our emotions back.

My desire to truly know what love is and having the ability to give it unconditionally is very high on my ‘growth list’. My past relationships have been more like possessions; taking prisoners if you will. ‘Do as I say and I’ll be happy’.’ Don’t cross me and everything will be fine.’ They were the epitome of superficial relationships based in fear, convenience and self-centeredness. Not having the ability to appreciate people for who they are….Looking at people as objects vs. loving human beings. I would unknowingly judge them on their potential. While at the same time always hoping they would ‘come around’ …. Develop into who I wanted or needed them to be. Not cool.

Looking outside of my ‘self’ for happiness has also been a thorn in my side. Trying to fill the ‘God hole’ with possessions, success, acknowledgements and money is a recipe for disaster. And I’m dealing with the consequences as I write this. Money and success have been major motivational factors for as long as I can remember. I now know I was programmed to think this way and by the grace God I’ve been given the opportunity to adjust my game plan and remove this illusion from my consciousness.

The Remedy is Love

The only way we can be ‘whole’ is to look within vs. without. Nothing external is going to fulfill our desire to be loved. We must love ourselves first. This takes compassion, acceptance and humility … traits that I’ve never considered important until recently. I’ve always had a ‘kind heart’, a trait I can trace back to my mother (and father). But unfortunately this ‘kind heart’ frequently had conditions.

Conditional love is the work of Darkness. Constantly reminding us to take all we can get without thinking of others. When selfishness is inadvertently instilled in us at a very young age, it’s a difficult habit to break.  But once broken, we finally have the ability to think of others first. Give of ourselves and not look for anything in return. This is the true essence of Love. In the book, ‘The Road Less Traveled’, M Scott Peck defines Love as “the extending of one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth”. Wow.

Not taking the opportunity to face my demons would be a tragedy. A tragedy because of what would be lost. I need to take advantage of the opportunity to assist others in working through the same emotional issues that have plagued me for years. When it comes right down to it, I've had to snap out of the ‘blame game’ and use my new found knowledge to access the infinite wisdom that is embedded in my DNA. There are no shortcuts. We can’t wait on others to save us. We have to ‘attack the day’ and endure the pain that comes with spiritual growth.

Looking at pain as a ‘price of admission’, we ultimately realize that spiritual growth is a gift. Spiritual growth is luxury that requires us to accept the necessary pain that will lead us to the joy of recovering from our past. Accepting this path to enlightenment, we will ultimately feel gratitude for the wisdom that we've attained.

Change Hurts

It’s difficult to embrace change. Change is hard. Change is scary. But change is the only thing in this world we can count on. Nothing stays the same…ever. We can reminisce about what we had or where we've been, but always knowing that it’s the journey we need to focus on. Change and growth are painful. And to take a quote from the movie, ‘Prometheus’, “The trick is to not mind the pain”.

Wayne Dyer often speaks about ‘enjoying the mystery’ of life. Once we realize that life is both mysterious and painful, we open ourselves to all the joy that life provides. So many of us are scared of growth and the pain that comes with it. To finally take the first step towards healing the past, enjoying the present and being optimistic about the future …. This is the true meaning of liberation.

Courage is being scared to do something and making the choice to do it anyway. So do it scared. It gives us the opportunity to smash our Ego and break the chains that have been holding us back from fulfilling our destiny. We must embrace the pain, move through it and look forward to the joy that awaits us on the other side.