I AM Enough

      The ringing in of 2013 had a special meaning for me this year. For GHM Jr., 2012 was a very painful, yet enlightening year. I have to admit, while counting down the days to 12-21-12, I was really focused on spiritual growth. I can credit my always developing consciousness for that.

      The last couple months living in Colorado had given me time to reflect. Spending time with quality people and lots of animals(2 Llamas,1 horse, 32 Alpacas,  3 cats and 5 dogs to be exact) has been a blessing. I can feel my tether to Mother Earth growing stronger daily.

      It's not easy talking about failure. Having to spend 3 months in a rehabilitation facility for severe depression can be observed as a sign of weakness. I can't look at it that way. I'm growing. After 48 years on this earth, I continue to learn. Similar to waking from a bad dream, I've been forced to re-think how I conduct my life. Mind, Body, and Spirit. I'm learning that 'we win some and we lose some'. I get on my knees every day and thank God for the lessons that are paving my way to a higher state of consciousness. Man ... too many damn lessons .... and painful ones at that. Anger. Judgement. Resentment. Jealousy. Conditional Love. The list goes on. However, I'm now wide awake.

     So this is where I'm at ... the proverbial crossroads. It's up to me to choose the right path. It's never easy coming to the conclusion that I've been doing it all wrong in this game of life. Stuck for so many years. Trapped in the pattern of chasing external people, places and things for internal happiness.

    In my previous blogs, I've written about finding 'it' and never wanting to let 'it' go again. Easier said than done. For me, happiness and joy are some slippery suckers. When not careful, happiness and joy can slip out of our hands at a moments notice. And this slippage usually occurs when I lose my connection with the Tao, Source, God or whatever you want to call it.

     I'm reading a very insightful book right now called The Handbook to Higher Consciousness by Ken Keyes, Jr. It speaks of many addictive behaviors that we all have been programmed to do at a very early age. Breaking these habits are essential to spiritual growth. Unity is also a common theme. Having a subject-object mindset of 'them' vs 'us' keeps us trapped in the lower Three(there are 7 total) Centers of Consciousness that focus on Security, Sensation and Power. When we're constantly focused on satisfying the ego, never thinking we are enough, we set ourselves up for a ride on the Pleasure-Pain roller-coaster. When I finally figured out(again) that I AM enough, my life has become more fulfilling and much less stressful.

     The Fourth Center of Consciousness is that of Love. Having the ability to accept whatever anyone says or does and love them unconditionally is a very challenging task. But once mastered, we realize that life unfolds naturally.When we accept life on life's terms and look at all people as Beings of Light, we control our own destiny. I've said it before, 'Our pain is self-chosen'. Meaning ... we are what we think. Throw in the Law of Attraction and I've found the only person I can blame is the man in the mirror. Instead of blame myself, I choose to thank God for the opportunity to continue to grow.

    Obviously I'm a slow learner. I made some serious mistakes in 2012. And the clean up has been difficult. Losing friends, opportunities and my girlfriend of 6 years are some of the things I regret. But I must keep moving forward with my newly gained wisdom of 2012. I've been blessed with a rekindled relationship with my father. Totally accepting him for who he is .... warts and all. I'm talking regularly with my brother and sister. And my mother is always a breath of fresh air for me.Thank God for family.

    My path to enlightenment has had some undesirable side tracks. With a close connection to my creator and a true desire to love all humans unconditionally, I'm starting to see The Light again. Life is as much a test as it is a journey. We will always have our personal lessons to learn and Karma to work off, however I've discovered that it's how we react to adversity that shapes our lives.

    Let life happen. Avoid meddling with the Divine Order that will guide us once we 'let go'. Our purpose on this earth is to spiritually evolve. I've been blind to this for a very long time. Evolution is painful.... Thank God for pain.

GM