Family Recovery – The Thin Red Line

It is from my experience, that I’ve found the main obstacle in gaining traction with ‘family or team recovery’ is gaining access to the rigid minds of those in power. Whether it teachers, parents or coaches, years of mental conditioning and blind faith stand in the way of growth. It would be an understatement to say my personal journey (my recovery in life) has been ‘challenging’. Years of trial and error (mostly error) during my never ending search for enlightenment (the truth) has been a gift. It wasn’t until recently that I experienced my personal epiphany …where I chose to truly ‘let go’.


I’ve been studying the topic/theory of ‘letting go’ for about 9 years now. One of my first books on the topic, ‘The Power of Now’ (Eckhart Tolle) showed me how to watch my thoughts; to be an astute observer of the mind. It’s been a constant struggle, though. Ever since I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, people have looked at me differently. They tended (with good reason) to shrug off my philosophies and theories as being ‘part of the illness”. This is where the tough part comes in when trying to ‘learn them me’.


In any form of deep thought, we’re taught to stay present and ‘just be’. The saying “If you have one foot in yesterday and one foot in tomorrow, you’ll be missing out  on today” holds true most of the time. However I will say that in “order to grow, we need to go back”. And going back is not only difficult, but a very tricky bridge to cross. Our inner circles are rife with people that don’t want to change. So this is why we need to be very cautious when choosing who/what/where we discuss our past.


It is ‘said’ that we must forgive, forget and move on. But then the question of  “How did I become who I was in the first place?” will eventually arise. And that question, more times than not, will be answered ‘that’s the past and we must move on” and/or “this is your recovery, not mine”. Huh? Of course there are many predisposed conditions and personal choices that need to be taken in to consideration. But the true question to be asked/answered is “What the hell happened?”


This is where I’ve reached the most resistance. We must be careful when it comes to visiting the past, especially with family members. There go, simply because a parent, coach or teacher “did their very best with what they had/knew” doesn’t mean the past is ‘off limits’. We must somehow find our way to an open forum where all egos are ‘checked at the door’. Once this is accomplished, the family onion can be peeled and the growth processes begin.


Best of  luck to all ………………GM