Our Pain is Self-Chosen

"Our Pain ...........is Self-Chosen "

- Layne Staley
Lead singer of Alice in Chains/Mad Season

Layne was a graduate of my unit at Hazelden right before he completed the Mad Season self titled album. The autographed CD was framed on the wall for all of us to see. Already in my collection, I listened to it daily and learned to embrace the fact that I'm not in this battle alone. That was 2000. Layne lost his battle 4.20.2002.

We have a choice. We have to fight. Make that choice to get better. In order to survive, we need to keep moving. Make that effort to keep going. Because in the end, our pain IS self-chosen.

The Price of Admission

Forgive them, UG   


For they know not what they do ................ 

If we truly care about those we want to remain in our inner circle .......and have the desire to recover from our past.....We must share our feelings(gently), so we(they) can reach the ultimate goal of letting it all go. 

        Most traditional/eastern spiritual teachings are simply a collection of words. 


            These words(poems if you will) are filled with signs that point us back to the source. ... Google 'Tao Te Ching' and 'Lao Tzu'

       And the source(our 'being'), in my opinion, is attained by recognizing our past. Embracing it. ...... because 'IT" is the Price of Admission.

      When we acknowledge the source of our pain........ Discuss it openly w/out letting the EGO enter the room...... Totally void of emotion................we GROW. 




           As an Native American chief once said about the caucasion settlers - "The 'white eye' all have tense faces, staring eyes and a cruel demeanor. Always looking as if they always 'need' something".


    That being said, we NEED to disconnect ....... Let Go.



     In order to achieve enlightenment, we must recognize the(my) L.A.W. of Active Recovery.......


            Some people Watch life happen (LOOK)......
            Some people Make life happen (ALLOW) 
            and the rest say "What happened?(WHAT?!)


    Happy Trails - UG




Talking to you Robyn

Madness in the NFL - The Greg Montgomery Story

http://vimeo.com/18105537

Meds vs Mania

Oh how we love our mania.......

     
       
        As we wake from our 3 hours of sleep, we pop out of bed with excitement. Can't wait to get to work. We quickly wash off our face and run out the door. As we're starting up the car we think......"Did I brush my teeth?........fuck it". We smack the dice and cruise.

     

             Whether it be on a football field,  in a  recording studio, the custom car shop or Wal-Mart,  we work tirelessly, endlessly . We check the time. The days fly by. We're busy brainstorming. Working out. Writing lyrics. Performing. Fine tuning our engines. We're fucking special, man. "God Damn, I(we) feel good!" Our passion is alive. Ideas are plentiful. Energy is running at a surplus. Many of us experience life for the first time.........What time is it, again?

            Danger Will Robinson


            Bipolar Disorder is like old luggage, herpes and your old varsity jacket. You can't get rid of it. No cure. None. End of story. It's a terminal disease (that is treatable) and must be taken very seriously(over 30% decide to take their own life)............we have to surround ourselves w/ good support and respect bipolar disorder.

             But of course, not before we kick the tires of this "illness". That's what we do.


             I was watching PBS the other night and Charlie Rose was interviewing Dr James Watson. A Nobel laureate who discovered DNA and the testing models that go with it. A huge advocate of cancer research, he noted that mental illness is next in line. He said the number one thing that mental illness needs is more research. Dr Watson said more research is needed to find the specific genome, the rogue gene that causes Bipolar Disorder(or any other mental illness for that matter). Hence my motivation to raise awareness. We need to do something. However the job might be a little bigger than we think. As Chief Martin Brody said in Jaws -  "I think we're gonna need a bigger boat". Hold on to your seats.

           We can't watch more tha 5 minutes of television before we see some kind of advertisement pushing the next wonder drug for bipolar disorder and/or depression. Who isn't depressed these daze? The Economy, the housing market, Iraq. Afganistan, global warming, Pat Tillman,  Swine Flu, Fox News...........what the fuck is going on?! There's an answer. Big Pharm has been using a "shotgun effect"(pun intended) to find the best Band-Aid for our illness(es)........And we wonder, why?

                  "The Tipping Point is the biography of an idea, and the idea is very simple. It is that the best way to understand the emergence of fashion trends, the ebb and flow of crime waves, or, for that matter, the transformation of unknown books into bestsellers, or the rise of teenage smoking, or the phenomena of word of mouth, or any number of the other mysterious changes that mark everyday life is to think of them as epidemics. Ideas and products and messages and behaviors spread just like viruses do."

                            - From Malcolm Gladwell's NY Times bestseller "The Tipping Point"


Remember I said I was dignosed in 1997

                 " It had the makings of an epidemic. From 1994-2003 the number of children diagnosed with bipolar disorder --- a condition characterized by cycles of devastating hopelessness and despair followed by times of ecstatic excitement--- had skyrocketed. In 1994 only twenty-five(25) of every one hundred thousand(100,000) American kids under the age of nineteen were diagnosed as bipolar. But by 2003 the number of cases had shot up by a staggering forty times. A doubling of this rare but serious condition would have been newsworthy in it's own right, but a fortyfold increase made it clear something was going on. The question was what."

                             - From Ori and Rom Brafman's NY Times bestseller "SWAY"


       Let's really think about this for a minute. The more people that are "mentally ill", the more drugs need to be prescribed........and the more drugs that are prescribed.......it's a vicious cycle. When it comes to money and control, it's ironic how some things simply happen to get a little extra "push" in order to tip.

            All of us know that when we're first diagnosed, the drugs we're prescribed  are a stone in our shoe. Melancholy days turn into weeks. The fog. We check our guns, sharpen our knives and pick out our favorite Oak tree on the way to/from work. Our loved ones are terrified. They tell us "You're just not yourself" ..." We care about you"..... "The meds are only to keep you safe".    Safe? Safe? If this is safe I'd like to see what fucking dangerous is. These peeps have no idea what we're capable of. We can't stop thinking about the gun, the rope, the tree. Then we finally(hopefully) snap out of it because we're fighters. We're  fucking survivors. This has to get better, right? But how the hell am I gonna get anything done?

           I got an idea...........

           We look into the mirror. We just stare. Who is this MF? We look down at the pill containers. Depakote, Prozac, Nuerontin, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Paxil, Symbalta, Effexor. Are you fucking kidding me? What is this shit?  I'm not sick......We look back into the mirror. And back down to the pills as we throw them in the toilet. Fuck these meds. I can't function. So my family doesn't want me to 'off myself', huh? ............ fuck these pills!!!!"

              Danger Part Deux

            After a few days, if we're lucky, we  feel "alive" again......flipped the switch......broke the code. "Finally I can think again.......let's rock and roll!

          This is  where I take the time to tell you this is the REAL danger zone. Even though we think meds suck, there IS a time and a place for them. Trust me.  Been there, done that.  All conspiracy theories aside, we all need to take the time to educate ourselves on the ins and outs of bipolar disorder. Yes, it can be a gift. We are  all creative and intelligent people. Strong-willed visionaries that want to do it "our way". We tend to be a little hard-headed(wink wink) and don't want to believe we're "sick". The fact is, our "gift", our illness, is real. We need to monitor it. It's like a sacred garden that needs to be kept. Nourished. If your meds are not working for you, stay in touch with you doctor(s). Demand to feel better!


The rest is up to you.

GM



       






       






         


            





              

Mount Union Lecture

     My experience at Mount Union was awesome. Dr. Tamara Daily was a great host and I look forward to our next event. GM


‎"On October 12, 2011, retired NFL punter Greg Montgomery Jr. presented the Annual Mental 
Health Awareness Lecture at the University of Mount Union in Alliance, Ohio. Mr. Montgomery 
shared the story of his diagnosis with Bipolar II Disorder and the challenges he has faced in 
creating his own path toward recovery. Mr. Montgomery challenged the audience to think about 
Bipolar Disorder in particular and mental illness more generally in the broader context of life 
experiences, family relationships, and individual responsibility. Using candid personal 
reflections, Mr. Montgomery shared his belief that living well with Bipolar involves both 
respecting the illness and learning to use it to one’s advantage. The evening’s most potent
 message was that people experiencing depression and anxiety have the power within 
themselves to choose more productive and fulfilling paths and limit the negative impacts of toxic
emotions."


                                 -  Dr Tamara Daily - Dept of Psychology - Univ of Mount Union

Denial

I received this note from a close friend who's in 'the program'. In my humble opine, there are many parallels between  the triggers of  both abuse/addiction and mental illness. My point of  "unilateral remorse is needed in order to achieve true recovery"....'The Why'.....must be uncovered and dealt with. Denial is a large hinderance which is conveniently(and often) overlooked...........


Monty,

       I think thats a larger part of the overall denial as part of the process. The whole family is in denial. Those who dont understand might not initially have access to understanding because they dont have the disease. Its hard to understand your part in something when you don't understand WHY its happened in the first place. Thats a tough hill... See More to climb when all you want is for the person you love to "be better"....its the "fixer" which lives in all of us. But to get down in the trenches and have to "put in work" for that loved one when the perception and problematic thinking is "that is their problem and I am just here to support them" is a different concept altogether. Thats where we separate the talkers from the do-ers. Agreed.

Living Bipolar (and Enlightened)

      For the last couple months, my girlfriend and I have been reading 'Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life' by Dr. Wayne Dyer. In this book,  Dr Dyer examines the 81 verses of the Tao Te Ching (The Way of Life)  written by philosopher Lao-tzu over 2000 years ago. Within each verse, as in any spiritual text, there is a powerful message that can be examined, discussed and applied to our lives. In the 17th verse, coined by Dr Dyer as 'Living as an Enlightened Leader, gives us a nice point of reference. Not only does it advise us on how to lead, but also to figure out our past (the Why). I  feel to acknowledge the roots our pain, deal with them, let go and move on is a very brave act. Choosing to change our minds(our ways of thinking), take action  and mentor others that are suffering, even braver."

                                                                  -  GHM, Jr


"With the greatest leader above them, people barely know one exists.

 Next comes one whom they love and praise.

 Next comes one whom they fear.

 Next comes one whom they despise and defy.

 When a leader trusts no one, no one trusts him.

 The great leader speaks little.

 He never speaks carelessly.

 He works without self-interest and leaves no trace.

 When all is finished, the people say, "We did it ourselves" "

                         - Lao-tzu from Tao Te Ching



    Here are a couple thoughts  by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer's from his book, Change Your Thoughts--Change Your Life;

     "You can personalize it by substituting the words parent or teacher for leader. 1st you must stay in the background and become an astute observer of what's taking place; then ask yourself how, without interfering, you can create an environment that will help everyone act responsibly

.  Whatever your decision, you'll be well aware of the need to create an environment where everyone will be able to say, "We fixed it ourselves without the need for any interference from anyone--we really don't need a supervisor."

  This approach involves suspending your desire (ego) to be seen as a strong authority figure.

  Truly inspiring leaders get results by their own example: encourage others to be responsible and do the right thing, but not by proclaiming and bragging about their impeachable management. They create space for others to be inspired and to achieve their own greatness. When the time comes for receiving accolades, they dissolve in the background, wanting everyone else to feel that their accomplishments arose from their own leadership qualities. The supreme Taoist leader always leaves people to choose and pursue their own way of life, their own conception of the good. The view of a self-styled authoritarian is not the way enlightened leaders see themselves; rather, they raise the energy of an environment through a viewpoint that elevates lower inclinations.

In the 17th verse, the Tao offers 3 other ways of choosing to be a leader.

1. To make a difference in the lives of others, resolving conflicts through love. By being an instrument of love and making an effort to praise others, this leader stays in harmony with the Tao. The draw back is that using the approval and affection of a leader for motivation means turning control of one's life over to that leader.

2. The ineffectiveness of fear as a leadership style: if I can get you to do as I desire by using a weapon, then you'll only behave in these ways as long as I have the power to threaten you. When I leave, my influence over you departs as well.

Studies have shown that students in the setting of teachers who were considered strict disciplinarians, they were well behaved when the feared individual was in the room, yet when she or he departed, the classroom turned chaotic.

The opposite was true of instructors who viewed education as an opportunity to praise and encourage students: their presence or absence had almost no noticeable impact. This is a great thing to keep in mind if you're a mother or father!

3. Least effective means for managing others is to use tactics that will encourage them to despise you, for the moment they leave your sight, they'll defy all that you say and stand for. Children who despise a parent tend to emulate the hateful tactics to which they were subjected, or they detach themselves completely from that doctorial adult and spend years attempting to heal the scars from the terrible treatment.

Instead of believing that you know what's best for others, trust that they know what's best for them. Allow others to share their thoughts about the path they see for themselves. Let your position be known, but also convey that you trust them to make the right choice. Then step back and peacefully believe that the way you look at this situation will change. Offer praise when those if your charge are making their own decisions, even when their behavior may conflict with yours. Trust yourself to give the best response by not seeing yourself as knowing what's right. "When a leader trusts no one, no one trusts him."

                                       -  Dr Wayne Dyer


      After reading this a couple times, you will start reflect and see where you were inspired and/or discouraged in your life. Take note of when you felt the desire to perform for your parents, teachers, coaches and bosses. In contrast, take note of when you were turned off and despised those in power. The reason I'm asking you to do this is that I truly believe we need to "go back in order to move forward". Once we discover which 'hot buttons' were pushed in our lives and take the time to 'go there' once again, we'll know again how its feels and then choose to make a conscious effort to never do the same to others. Wisdom is the product of experience, pain and growth. A mistake is only a mistake if we don't learn from it.

      Many specialists in the field of mental health and addiction/abuse want us to simply 'move on'. To somewhat allow our inner circle to sit on the sidelines and give us 'support'. When in reality, we need everyone to 'go back' with us and join us in our recovery. This doesn't mean we constantly harp on the reasons of our pain and use them as a crutch. But those who we feel had an impact on our lives (good and bad) should be made aware of their actions. I feel,  through true remorse from those that pained us (and we them), the recovery (discovery) process has a much better chance of being completed. JMHO

Listen to Me !!!!!!

What is Bipolar Disorder?

    Bipolar disorder is a brain disorder that causes persistent, overwhelming, and uncontrollable changes in moods, activities, thoughts, and behaviors. A child has a much greater chance of having bipolar disorder if there is a family history of the disorder or depression. This means that parents cannot choose whether or not their children will have bipolar disorder.

   Although bipolar disorder affects at least 750,000 children in the United States 1  , it is often difficult to recognize and diagnose in children. If left untreated, the disorder puts a child at risk for school failure, drug abuse, and suicide. That is why it is important that you seek the advice of a qualified professional when trying to find out if your child has bipolar disorder.

   Symptoms of bipolar disorder can be mistaken for other medical/mental health conditions, and children with bipolar disorder can have other mental health needs at the same time. Other disorders that can occur at the same time as bipolar disorder include, but are not limited to, attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, conduct disorder, oppositional defiant disorder, anxiety disorders, autistic spectrum disorders, and drug abuse disorders. The roles that a family’s culture and language play in how causes and symptoms are perceived and then described to a mental health care provider are important, too. Misperceptions and misunderstandings can lead to delayed diagnoses, misdiagnoses, or no diagnoses—which are serious problems when a child needs help. That is why it is important that supports be in place to bridge differences in language and culture. Once bipolar disorder is properly diagnosed, treatment can begin to help children and adolescents with bipolar disorder live productive and fulfilling lives.

What Are the Signs of Bipolar Disorder?

   Unlike some health problems where different people experience the same symptoms, children experience bipolar disorder differently. Often, children with the illness experience mood swings that alternate, or cycle, between periods of “highs” and “lows,” called “mania” and “depression,” with varying moods in between. These cycles can happen much more rapidly than in adults, sometimes occurring many times within a day. Mental health experts differ in their interpretation of what symptoms children experience. The following are commonly reported signs of bipolar disorder:

• Excessively elevated moods alternating with periods of depressed or irritable moods;
• Periods of high, goal-directed activity, and/or physical agitation;
• Racing thoughts and speaking very fast;
• Unusual/erratic sleep patterns and/or a decreased need for sleep;
• Difficulty settling as babies;
• Severe temper tantrums, sometimes called “rages”;
• Excessive involvement in pleasurable activities, daredevil behavior, and/or grandiose, “super-confident” thinking and behaviors;
• Impulsivity and/or distractibility;
• Inappropriate sexual activity, even at very young ages;
• Hallucinations and/or delusions;
• Suicidal thoughts and/or talks of killing self; and
• Inflexible, oppositional/defiant, and extremely irritable behavior.